you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
