you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
