i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You need Xanax blowdarts
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
