We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
