What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
