the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
