OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
