STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize