i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize