Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
