Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
