i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
