She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize