I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
