i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
