So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
