sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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