I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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