Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
