For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
