I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my shit smells like andre
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
