hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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