im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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