my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I came so hard my ears popped.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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