i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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