Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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