Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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