i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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