hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize