And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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