i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
