I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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