I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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