wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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