we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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