she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
