I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
