Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
