You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
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