she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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