Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
