how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
