I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
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