it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
