cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I understand Curling. That high.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
