We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
