I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
