Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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