its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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