It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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