Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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