Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
