Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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