I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
