All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
