from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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